Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
