I hate all girls vehemently.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
