Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
