I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
