Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
