guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
