the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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