it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
