you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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