Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
