I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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