I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
