Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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