the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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