she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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