Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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