Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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