ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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