just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
