Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
