Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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