i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
