now i know why i became what i already was.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
