is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
