Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
