my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Boobs are out for the taking
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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