I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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