If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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