u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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