sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
