I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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