People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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