I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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