ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
