dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My liver just had a heart attack.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
