Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
