did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
