i permit you to call me
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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