Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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