Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
