its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
