I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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