I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
