TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
