he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
How's work?
Spinning.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
