I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The Olympian is in my bed
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