R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize