I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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