i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've blown a few things in my day
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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