If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
