you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
