I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
