her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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