i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
