trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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