don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
