so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
