Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
